I had heard a very dear friend of mine (second family) was going in for surgery to have a hysterectomy (and removal of a 'mass'). She couldn't wait because she thought it would end the stomach issues she was having. I offered her one of our quilts (was He speaking then?) and she gently refused it saying she wasn't sick enough for THAT. (Did she think they only go for the dying?) I really insisted that they go for people EVEN just having surgery, after all, it's made to 'comfort' you when you need it. Reluctantly she said that if it would make ME feel better, I could give her one.
Yesterday, I went to her house with a few choices. And some pocket prayers, in case she really insisted that she didn't need one. When she answered the door she didn't look good (did I disturb her sleep?)... I told her I could come back if that would be better, but she opened the door and said 'now is fine', then blurted out, "I have ovarian cancer." I quickly said "I know" (although I hadn't been told and don't know why I said it- was HE speaking again for me?). She corrected me and said, "No, I haven't told you that yet". "Oh yeah, you said it was a mass..."
Then I realized what she'd told me... she had cancer. Definitely. They WEREN'T gonna do surgery because of the lymph nodes that could be compromised. Apparently another panel of doctors read the report and rediagnosed it....
As I sat there for the hour I spent with her, we cried, spoke of being scared, angry, afraid of losing friends, control, faith. I hopefully, reassured her that her friends ARE her friends and the ones that don't stick by her may not know how to handle her illness. That, while she's afraid to be back at her church because people will 'pity' her, she needs their love, and prayers and hugs...Then I gave her a quilt and told her when she starts her chemo, she needs to bring that with her, because until she feels God is with her, that quilt will be there (as is God) warming and comforting the chaos in her life. Be honest with other people. Tell them you're afraid they will pity you. They'll figure out how to react to this by what you say and do. If you're angry, and you SHOULD be, throw a nerf ball at the wall. If it doesn't work, throw something else. Kick a wall. Yell. Scream. SWEAR!! I would! I also tried to make her laugh. I told her to hang on to anything she can control, because she won't know what she can control and how the treatment would affect her. I told her I'd help her cut her hair when she thought it was time (my sister is a hairdresser and can do it out of the relm of the salon where she was worried others would 'see' her). I reaasured her we'd keep her husband busy (her concern after she's gone)....I also reigned in her panic when she cried out that she was DYIING, by saying yes, I know. we ALL ARE. ("But I'm dying before you are..." "Unless I get hit by a bus when I leave here", then I looked to the heavens and said "Not yet, Lord, I have things to take care of." ....
I left when she felt a little tired. Somehow, I know I heard God's voice....
This is the quilt she picked out.... "Where's First Base?" is the name of it.
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